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Okay, so, things didn't go well the last couple of months. Some of it will seem really stupid, but whatever. It got to me. Work was really bad. Like really stressful. See, I'm a receiving manager, and normally after the holiday stuff arrives in October things slow down for us some. But no. Because of what really now looked like a mistake on the warehouse's part we ramped up to bring in almost twice what we should've been bringing. And that lasted for a while.
Until we "caught up" and there wasn't anything else to bring in. Great. Of course, because we're soooo busy (because corporate intentionally cuts hours in December so the holiday profits look even higher), there's no way to take any of my remaining vacation time for the year. Nope, instead its long shifts to cover the fact that we can't give the part-timers hours. Because we don't have any.
Alright, enough work talk.
I was having one helluva time getting into the holidays because of how stressed I was, and watching them pass right by without being able to really celebrate made me super depressed. I've been unmotivated to do basically anything. Haven't wanted to talk, haven't wanted to draw, and hell, I've barely wanted to even take care of myself.
Then a few days before Christmas my grandmother passed away.
Then Carrie Fisher. Which may seem like "Oh, Vi, how can you compare her to family?"
Carrie Fisher was fucking important. I loved my grandmother, but I grew up wanting to one day be like Princess Leia. She was cool, and snarky, and in command, and pretty, and just the perfect role model.
So pretty much between the post-election day terror (which is still persisting. Seriously, I'm terrified about the future) and actual Christmas... life kicked my ass.
And I'm still not better, no matter how hard I'm trying.
I just wanted to let people know what's going on. I didn't forget about anyone. I've just been hurting.